Saturday, September 03, 2011

Quick Laughs: The Best Short Jokes Posted By : Brian Jones

By: Brian Jones
Post Date: 2010-04-21 Humor is a good way to break the ice, and short jokes are particularly effective as they are easy to tell and easy to remember. Below are some of the best short jokes ever, from the silly to the sophisticated.

Love thy neighbor all through the day... But first make sure her husband's away.

In the 1st year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the 2nd year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the 3rd year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

A man tells his wife that a man is like a fine wine; he always gets better with age. The next day, she locks him in the wine cellar.

There's a couple lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman in the world!" The woman answers, "I'll miss you."

A wife tells her husband, "Give me some money; I want to buy a bra." The husband replies, "What for? You have nothing to put in it!" Then the wife says, "But you wear shorts!"

A husband says to his wife, "When I'm gone, you'll never find another man like me." The wife answers, "Why would I want another man like you?"

A husband tells his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife says, "You're probably right. I still have mine with me."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How do you keep a fool in suspense? "I'll tell you later."

Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? Because it said, "concentrate."

A guy walks into a video store and says, "Can I have 'Batman Forever?'" And the store clerk says, "No, you have to bring it back tomorrow."

What's the difference between chopped liver and pea soup? Anyone can chop liver, but not everyone can pee soup.

Light can travel faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them talk.

A patient says, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor says, "Take these pills. If they don't work, give me a ring."

"Doctor, you have a patient here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor replies, "Tell him I can't see him."

"Doctor, I have a problem with my memory." The doctor asks, "When did it start?" The patient says, "When did what start?"

"Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." The doctor says, "Pull yourself together!"

A man calls emergency; "Come quickly," he says, "my little son swallowed a condom!" 5 minutes later, he calls back, "Its okay, I found another one."

Hopefully, this list of the best short jokes will keep the laughs coming as quickly as they are told. In conclusion, here are 2 more short jokes and one really long joke: Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkke!

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